Monthly Archives: February 2015

goodguy

Why Good Men Have Stopped Chasing

Why Good Men Have Stopped Chasing

by:  Chris Feliciano

Published:  February 27, 2015

 

Let’s face it – we live in a society that thrives on attention. Whether it’s the three breasted woman, outrageous reality TV shows, and narcissistic selfies – we yearn for our viral 15 minutes of fame. Because of the age we now live in, don’t expect the thrill of the chase in the dating world to go away. It is a practice that requires attention to either be given, received, or a bit of both. What has gone away, or I should say better defined is who’s still chasing the most. The methods and pickup lines remain the same, but the quality of men that approach a woman is being redefined. Unless you’ve been living in a cave, you know that men have traditionally initiated the chase. Since the times of knights and virgin princesses, it has been the man seeking approval of his fair maiden and not the other way around.

 

While women are becoming much more independent and are at times exceeding the salary of their male counterparts, good men are becoming independent in their own way. They are beginning to take notice that women treat them as the fourth victim after women have suffered through three bad chases. So what’s the bad chase? It’s that moment when the woman first meets what she thinks is a gentleman and the initial butterflies and sexual tension is developed. After a few dates, she mistakenly takes the wolf dressed in sheep’s clothing as THE guy and may satisfy his needs too quickly. The bad guy has reached his goal and without consideration he starts his moonwalk and back to being a Smooth Criminal to look for his next victim. What ironically happens next defies all logic but if dating were simple logic we’d all be taken…

 

truck

 

The woman is now frustrated with men and feels she betrayed her own beliefs and restraints. For some they return to a selfie with the caption of “I am worthy #teamsingle”, increase their yoga sessions, or down sangria faster than a thirsty vampire at a blood donation center. In all seriousness this phase can have damaging effects on a woman’s perception on dating and men altogether. This drug of chase, excitement, let down, heal, and doing it all over again seems absurd. You know the old cliché about insanity as doing something over and over and expecting a different result – but hey it’s exciting.

 

Meanwhile the good guy is smarter than you know. He understands that no matter what the resume looks like on the woman he’s interested in, he can quickly pick up on signs that a woman enjoys being chased. He has evolved from the hunter mindlessly chasing for the kill, to the farmer that carefully plucks the good crops from the bad ones. A man of that caliber has no time for trivial games. He seeks a woman who truly has snapped from the cycle and is truly independent – emotionally, financially, and in other ways. A good guy is not to be confused for a boring guy. These men are capable of being just as exciting as those that thrive on the chase, but are offer an even deeper connection. What makes it difficult is that in an age of combo meals, Netflix, and Amazon dating is sometimes treated as a drive thru order – come and go as you please.

patience

 

Patience is the best advice for all involved. For women that enjoy the thrill of the chase, wait out for a good guy without overly restraining who you really are. For the bad guys who have the potential to be good men, take some time to treat her as a person to discover and not manipulate. For the good men that can identify when a woman is chase addicted, communicate your concerns in an honest and respectful way. Next time that someone says “Where’s all the good ones at”, make sure you’re not the cause for attracting or creating the wrong ones.

 

So what do you think ladies, do more of the wrong type of men or right ones come chasing? Men, do ladies assume you’re just like all of them when in reality you have plenty to offer? We’d love to read your thoughts and opinions.

 

 

My next blog will be about bad boys and the women that love them. If you have stories or viewpoints that we can use for our next blog or any upcoming articles please feel free to reach out to me. I also take pride in my efforts to build a better singles community, if you’re interested in private date coaching I’d be happy to help. Just contact me at chris@scenergy-dating.com and we can schedule a no-obligation appointment so I can tell you more about our services.

yahoo

Dating in 1995 vs 2015: How 20 Years Have Changed the Game

Dating 2015 vs Dating 1995

by:  Chris Feliciano

Published:  February 9, 2015

Just give me 30 minutes honey, just need to load their page.

Just give me 30 minutes honey, just need to load their page.

 

Let’s take a trip down memory lane with this hilarious yet ironically true account of dating 20 years ago versus now. Maybe in your fantasies of neon fanny packs and Alanis Morissette songs you can find commonality with these stories. If you’re too young to remember 1995, then enjoy a yesteryear of improved social interactions in the dating game.

 

1995

John, 26 year old engineer, would go into a local Irish bar where he would lock eyes with a gorgeous yet shy redhead. The discussion that becomes an excuse for a first date is centered around the local Smashing Pumpkins cover band playing on stage. They eventually start a relationship and enjoy their weekly “marathon” of watching Friends.

 

2015

John, 26 year old engineer, takes a moment to post on Facebook that he is about to enter an Irish Bar. While tagging his friends, he misses out on the gorgeous redhead who’s too busy on her phone researching live bands. They both go home alone without ever knowing they live in the same apartment complex, all while binging on old episodes of Friends on Netflix.

 

Quasi urban hipsters before the word existed.

Quasi urban hipsters before the word existed.

1995

Lisa, 40 year old financial advisor, enters a happening coffee shop called Starbucks to pick up a new popular drink called a Frapuccino. She sees a polished gentleman reading a newspaper and greets him by making a comment based on the article facing her. The gentleman lowers the newspaper to reveal a wickedly charming smile and introduces himself. They later go on to become regulars at a nearby Starbucks where they discuss random things like the potential of a new actress named Angelina Jolie and Windows 95.

 

2015

Lisa, 40 year old wealth manager, enters a Starbucks and without hesitation goes over her detailed order with the barista. She quickly sits down and starts checking her work emails, text messages, Facebook notifications, and tweets. A good looking gentleman is reading a book off his tablet and continuously switches his attention between his tablet and trying to catch Lisa’s attention. After several attempts, he continues reading his book as Lisa storms off with her medium hot, light on whip cream, and custom espresso shot drink – never having a chance to have met her secret admirer.

 

1995

A group of gentlemen pass by a class of ladies during a Tae Bo class at the local gym, the most socially awkward of the group catches the attention of the female instructor. He comments, “Wow she’s like a hot Xena Warrior Princess”, and patiently waits for the class to end. The fitness instructor turns the corner and is immediately intercepted by the lanky yet confident gentleman who asks for her AOL screen name. She obliges and goes on to let him know which chat rooms she frequents. He smiles, licks his braces, and givers her an overly enthusiastic hand shake before jogging away to catch up with friends.

 

2015

A group of gentlemen pass by a class of ladies during a Zumba class at their local Crossfit hybrid studio. The geek of the group catches the attention of the instructor as he comments, “Wow she’s like Shakira with neon tassels.” The gentleman awkwardly stands inside the Zumba class until it is complete. He approaches the instructor and asks his smartphone, “How do I ask out a Zumba instructor” and his smartphone replies “I don’t understand your question.” The Latina instructor nods her head in laughter and introduces herself. He swings his hand around to shake hers and they walk each other out of the studio. Two weeks after that fateful night they are regularly seen walking the boardwalk together, one hand holding hers while the other is translating Spanish on his mobile Rosetta Stone.

"Hey you check out that Brad Pitt guy in that one vamp movie...kinda cute!"

“Hey you check out that Brad Pitt guy in that one vamp movie…kinda cute!”

Accurate, unfair, or bias?  Let us know what you think below and if not then tell us your favorite memory of 1995.