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fit

Top 7 Reasons To Be Fit In The Dating World

Top 7 Reasons To Be Fit In The Dating World

written by: Jay Kilith/Scenergy Dating Blog Contributor

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The 20-teens have thus far been the era of the unfit: we celebrate the Dad Bod, proudly declare ourselves to be couch potatoes, and the term ‘fat acceptance’ has turned into something resembling a civil rights movement. In today’s climate, it’s all too easy to grow content with eating massive portions of deep fried foods and opting for the escalator at every opportunity. So what if you’re winded after climbing two flights of stairs! You’re a Couch Potato! You’re physically lazy in the most endearing way. It’s the 21st century, and you have no reason to run a mile. Heck, you don’t have to compete in the Olympics to get a date.  It’s time to focus on being fit in the dating world.

Sure, we love to hear that it’s okay– even quirky or cute– to avoid physical activity, but we need a reality check. If improved health and a longer lifespan aren’t motivating enough for you (live hard, die young, eat Oreos!), you need to step back and have a look at all the ways that getting in shape will improve your love life. The following is a quick run-down of what you can expect from dating after you have made physical fitness a priority.

1) First, stop staring at physique competitors, grow up, and reassess your priorities.
If you struggle to carry your groceries in every day, yet you expect to develop the prodigious pectorals of Captain America by the year’s end, you’re out of your mind.

Even the most unfit of us take pleasure in watching fitness transformations. We see TV shows where people drop hundreds of pounds in a year, so we figure, “Hey, if that guy can lose half his body weight, I can become Tarzan in six months.” Wrong-o. If you’re only working out because you think you’ll have the buns of Wonder Woman in three months, you’re setting yourself up for lousy exercise plans and inevitable failure. Which brings me to…

2) Don’t focus on your appearance. Focus on your fitness.
It’s easy to get hung up on ‘improving’ your physique, but unless you plan on becoming a model, stripper, or bikini/physique competitor, you’re wasting your time. Resist the urge to use exercise only as a way to ‘look better’, because you’ll likely waste a lot of time without experiencing any real growth. Or, perhaps even worse: you’ll get the look you want, and then you’ll get comfortable and slack off.

When you pursue fitness for the sake of fitness, you’ll reap the benefits. Approach exercise with the idea of managing your stress levels, eliminating anxiety, improving your overall health, and chasing the elusive runner’s high. Fitness is a journey, not a destination. Strive to grow and improve.

3) Staying in shape shows that you are healthy and disciplined.
No one wants to date a lazy lump who is at risk of a stroke after walking uphill for five minutes. Being fit is one of the best ways to demonstrate your discipline, as well as your physical and psychological health. By working out regularly, you broadcast this message to all of your potential partners:

“I take care of myself! I make my health a priority! I have the discipline to do what needs to be done even if it isn’t easy! I don’t take shortcuts! I know how to make decisions and stick to them!”

Hot, right? Be that person.

4) You are competing for other people’s time, interest, and emotional investment, and getting fit will give you a leg up.
The dating world is one giant representation of the ice cream aisle at your local supermarket. The shelves are packed full of ice cream of every flavor, quirky name, chemical additive, and dairy milk alternative imaginable. With so many other buckets of ice cream– er, people– you have to put in quite a bit of work to prove that you deserve your potential partner’s time more than your competitors.

There are a zillion other people out there who like Netflix and modern art and get tired after walking two miles. If you really want to get their attention, be the person who likes Netflix and art and participates in triathlons. You will be vastly more interesting– and vastly more confident!

5) Sick of the same tired old bar, cafe, or coffee shop date? You have a built-in unique date idea, and it does not involve hooker heels.
If you’ve been to your local cafe on so many dates that the servers have started calling you by your first name, fitness will give you the perfect opportunity to mix things up. Instead of dragging your partner through another lousy cup of coffee, you can introduce them to your favorite form of fitness as a way to get to know them. If you’re a runner, you can take them on a leisurely trail run. If you like yoga, you can test out their sense of humor while you struggle through harder poses together. It’s fun, it’s casual, and it forbids torturous, stressful wardrobe choices. Getting sweaty together is a great icebreaker. They will remember you!

6) Make sure you and your partner are on the same page.
For most people, this isn’t too big of an issue, but if you’re prone to ‘going all in’, watch your obsession. Your fitness and nutritional plans will have an impact on your partner’s life, so it’s important to explain what your goals and expectations are from the beginning. If you’re going to follow a raw, vegan, gluten-free diet, they need to know that eating out is going to be a pain in the neck at times. If you’re going to disappear for hours on end to train for a marathon, they need to know your training schedule. Don’t expect your partner to try to squeeze their relationship into the cracks around your fitness routine.

And resist the urge to control your partner’s diet or exercise program! Your health and fitness are your own, and your partner is not obligated to participate in your activities. If it’s important enough that you expect them to accompany you for any fitness endeavor, you need to make that expressly clear. Communication is key.

And lastly…

7) Exercise is an exercise in ‘mutual motivation.’
We have long known that we are more likely to stay motivated when we have a partner in crime– we’re competitive, our partners hold us accountable, and we tend to mimic the people around us. By bringing fitness into your relationship, you will ensure that you and your partner continue to motivate each other and support one another’s growth. This has a ripple effect on your whole relationship, making for a strong, healthy, productive partnership.

Originally published on www.scenergy-dating.com.

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Weak Men & Indecisive Women- The Demise of Modern Dating

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Weak Men & Indecisive Women- The Demise of Modern Dating

written by: Jacklin K/Scenergy Dating Blog Contributor

One word sums up modern dating…PATHETIC. Men have become weak and lazy yet women have become increasingly indecisive on what they want or expect from dating. Women have made men so comfortable that they think they can get away with almost anything, this I believe has led to the demise of modern dating.

Women no longer know what they want, some of you might think I’m crazy but hey it’s true – just stay with me here. A woman will tell you the qualities she wants in a man and swears that she will only end up with one who meets her standards. But, when you look at the guy she ends up with, he doesn’t even have any of the qualities she wanted in a man in the first place. In fact, most women don’t have clear standards. They are optimistic that every guy they meet has an outstanding quality yet pessimistic when they are missing just one off their mental checklist.

When you ask a woman what she wants in a guy, her answer will vary depending on her age group. A woman in her early twenties will most likely say she wants a guy with tons of money, dashing looks, and treats her nice. In essence, she is telling you the qualities she feels will give her the best experience. But as she grows older, she starts to realize that some of the qualities she thought were important in her early twenties hold little or no significance.

Something you often hear is how a woman might think she wants a man who is taller than her because height equates to masculinity and protection. But one woman’s experience of dating a shorter than standard gentleman can change her mentality. She goes out on a first date with a guy who is shorter than her by let’s say an inch or two. When he kissed her, he held her confidently, kissed her deeply and left her feeling wanted. She had never had that experience before with taller guys she’s dated in the past. Suddenly she realizes that she no longer needed to equate height with masculinity; she needed a man who made her feel feminine and sexy.  This is not only a great experience, but also the seeds that add confusion for the woman hell-bent on a taller guy.

Men have also forgotten the courage it takes to approach women because women have either taken up that role or are no longer approachable. While pickup lines seemed frowned upon years ago, nowadays it would be nice to have some creativity mixed with confidence.  The new generation of average men are using lazy lines such as “hmu” (hit me up) or “dtf?” (down to f’).  If the dating scene would have invented “Blockbuster & Chill” twenty years ago it would of least included popcorn, Twizzlers, and the thrill of knowing you grabbed the last VHS cassette.  Meanwhile since it seems some women nowadays are not sure what they want in the dating and relationship world, it may cause men to no longer see the value in the pickup.

Speaking of conversation, making phone calls has become a dying art. Nowadays communication will happen through text, which is the most detached impersonal form of communication. We are actually in an era where your phone ringing becomes a stress inducing exercise where you wait for the voicemail and either get to it or don’t get to it later.  If we leap into our time machine again we remember an era void of GPS, voicemail, caller ID, and text message where phones were answered more.

Women assume everyone who approaches them is a creep but this depends on how attractive they are – unfortunately (or fortunately) a man’s actions will be considered romantic in direct parallel to their looks. But looks aside happy hour now consists of an army of women with their phones at eye level uncontrollably texting, all the while men are sitting back gauging who even seems approachable. Even if a guy approaches a lady with the best of intentions, he would feel like he is literally competing and interrupting her Twitter, Facebook, text messaging, and Instagram page for hot firemen.  Is this a sign that men lack courage nowadays or single women have no idea what their intention is at happy hour anymore?

Also women don’t want to be labeled as sluts but are yet fearful of commitment. They will remain in a label free relationship, which blurs lines and only works until it doesn’t. “We are just talking” is a phrase women have gotten used to which technically is a method men use to keep the door open for cheating. This way it wouldn’t really be cheating if he sleeps around because you weren’t really together. The idea of putting a label on a relationship seems like a stress builder, maybe this new era is evolving into a grey area due to our love with options.

Nowadays, it’s okay for a guy to not make plans in advance. They have options and up-to-the-minute update of their friends’ whereabouts and spending time with their women is not a priority; they only become a priority when there is no one to hang out with. Women have made this okay and even expecting that they will be stood up or causing the last minute cancellation themselves.

Men have been feeling like they are nothing but clowns to the modern woman, the independent woman has made it clear that she doesn’t need a man to survive. Ask a woman today if she needs a man and she will tell you “I don’t know” or the ever famous, “I’ve never needed a man.”  Very few will answer with conviction that they need a man in their life.  Singles argue that in this so called modern era we’ve been brainwashed into believing that the key to happiness is self-empowerment by becoming a corporate wage slave and sleeping around when convenient.

 

It has become increasingly difficult to dispute the notion that a woman who believes she doesn’t need a man won’t make a good girlfriend or wife as the one who is purposeful when it comes to looking for one. She will only treat you as a distraction to her more important career and friends’ night out. The only hope men have is to have sex with her as many times as possible until her attraction fizzles out and she moves on to the next guy. This is why men only want to hook up so if a woman is seeking more than sex, he won’t tell her he is the wrong person for her. At least, not until after they have a quick romp in between the sheets. Honesty isn’t mandatory anyway and often not celebrated in these current times.

Men also feel like they shouldn’t be spending money on dates. Women strive for equality so why not strive for it in the dating world too? Why should there be a double standard when it comes to dating? Most of them also don’t make classic romantic gestures like sending flowers or cards as everything is communicated in the digital space now. The most romantic expression some guys make nowadays is making their women “Facebook Official”, random thought but did Myspace have that option in its heyday? But we all know how easy it is to delete a picture or crop someone out when things go south – evidence of a break up for your social media world to witness.

Do you think women are to blame for the demise of modern dating? Are they enabling men’s bad behavior and lack of effort when it comes to dating? Or do men really need to step up, stop complaining and start courting women again like traditional men did?

magicfeeling

Have Singles Lost that “Magic Feeling”?

magicfeeling

Have Singles Lost that “Magic Feeling”?

written by: Ellen Curnow/Scenergy Dating Blog Contributor

Blondie sang, “Here come’s the 21st Century, it’s gonna be much better for a girl like me”. But was she right? Especially when it comes to the world of dating?

Single life, and the search for love, have changed dramatically since Debbie Harry pranced around the stage singing, “I want that man!” Has the magic gone out of dating? Does that first dinner feel more like a job interview? Do you still get butterflies in the stomach?

Let’s explore the face of dating in the age of Tinder, texting and Facebook.

NOW AND THEN: HAS DATING REALLY CHANGED THAT MUCH?
On the surface, the answer is YES. For anyone re-entering singledom after a few years coupled up, the scene seems to have changed dramatically. Mobile apps let you locate and chat to any singles within a mile of you. Pages of duck-faced selfies give false impressions. You know a person’s height, weight, hair color, occupation, salary and hobbies without having to engage in conversation.You can send a series of abbreviated (and essentially meaningless) texts to find out if someone’s on the same page. The magic of meeting someone at a friend’s party and building up the courage to ask them out on a date is gone. Romance appears to be dead.

But, underneath all that, dating today is still the same as it was 20 or 30 years ago. You’re still looking for someone to connect with. For that magic spark. You still want to fall in love.

TOO MANY OPTIONS?
Does this scenario sound familiar? You’ve had an unsuccessful date. For whatever reason there was just no spark. Before you even make it to the car park, you’re texting the next option or scrolling Tinder to see who’s new.

In days gone by, it was actually quite hard to meet people, now it seems there are too many options. There’s a danger in this: you’re always wondering if the other people you’re chatting with are a better option than the one sitting in front of you. You can’t remember what you said to whom. The temptation to “keep your options open” ruins any chance of making a meaningful connection.

Don’t be overwhelmed by the plethora of choice that technology seems to offer you. And remember to be a decent human being. Take it slow. Date one person at a time. This is supposed to be fun!

THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY (AND THE ONE YOU JUST CAN’T SHAKE!):
Dating is fraught with disappointment. You meet someone and think they might just be the one. Unfortunately, they don’t feel the same about you. This might happen more often these days because the world of dating is much faster and because there are more options, but it’s pretty much always been that way. It’s all part of the adventure. Embrace it.

Or, there’s the opposite scenario:
So you’ve been on a couple of dates and you realize you’re not really into this person. In the past, you might have told them so and parted ways. Now, you’re Facebook friends, they’ve got your cell phone number and can reach you wherever you are, they can see when you’re on Tinder. In the world of technological dating, it can be really hard to shake that unsuccessful date.

Just a side note: if you can’t resist the temptation to text, call or Facebook stalk the “one that got away”, then YOU’RE the one that THEY just can’t shake.

Do yourself a favor: delete that number!

WHAT HAPPENED TO MYSTERY?
Okay, I’m not such a prude as to suggest you have to wait for marriage before you do the deed.
But… isn’t there something to be said for a little mystery?

With modern technology it’s likely that, before you’ve even met, you’ve already seen more of each other than couples of the past would have glimpsed before their wedding night!

If dating in the 21st century really has lost it’s magic then this has to be one of the biggest reasons why. That magic, that feeling of butterflies in the stomach came out of the mystery and anticipation of getting to know the other person. Don’t let go of that too quickly, there’s no rush.

HAVE ROMANTIC MOVIES RUINED US FOR DATING?
Boy meets girl. A series of comical misunderstandings. An eventual declaration of everlasting love. And finally, wedding bells.

We’re practically fed this crap with our Mothers’ milk. From old fashioned fairy tales like Cinderella, to Disney classics like Beauty and the Beast, to Jane Austen, to romantic comedies on Netflix. We’re raised with the ideals of “one true love” and “happily ever after”. But do these books and movies set us up with unrealistic expectations and the certainty of disappointment? Particularly on the modern dating scene?

If you’re going on a date wondering what song you’ll have at your wedding or what to name your children, you’re doing it wrong. If you’ve got a Tinder or internet dating profile that goes something like, “My ideal partner is tall, good looking, healthy, wealthy, fit, organized, motivated, relaxed, funny…etc, etc, etc,” you’re also doing it wrong. And here’s why: you’re looking for some sort of movie star ideal and not a real person. You’re setting yourself up for disappointment.

While you were waiting to meet your one true love and for your life to magically transform into some sort of Disney movie, you missed out on getting to know (and maybe to love?) a real person. Drop the cookie cutter ideal and be genuine and open: see your date as a unique individual.

SUMMARY: DATING IN THE 21ST CENTURY – LET’S NOT LOSE THE MAGIC!
So, to finish off, I’d like to propose 5 simple rules for keeping the magic alive on the single scene in 2016.

1. Date one person at a time: be yourself, get to know them and enjoy their company (preferably in person and not through text). Don’t expect Prince (or Princess!) Charming and a ride off into the sunset. But don’t write people off at first glance either. We all have hidden depths.
2. Chivalry is not dead: you can be a lot more creative and romantic than Netflix and the sofa!
3. Get to know the person BEFORE you jump in the sack! Keep the mystery alive!
4. Suggestive (or downright nude!) photos are never a good idea when you’re looking for love.
5. Do not “Drink and Dial”. If you’re heading out on the town, write all potential soulmate’s numbers down in a notebook, hide it and delete their digits from your phone. There’s nothing worse than a sloppy declaration of love at 2 am. Not to mention the horror of waking up to find you booty called the wrong person.

Don’t give up hope. Single life needn’t be a technological and emotional minefield. Romantic love is just as possible as it was in any other generation . Boy can still meet girl. All you need to do is keep it real.

Boston Events For Singles 2016

Boston Singles Events

Boston Events For Singles 2016

Boston Singles Events Mark Success For Scenergy Dating

2015 was a big year for Scenergy Dating. Earlier in the year, we weren’t anywhere on the East Coast. Most of the cities we hosted singles events in was out West. That all changed last year as Scenergy Dating came to Boston. We are now official, hosting singles events in Boston thanks to our CEO Chris Feliciano. Boston quickly became one of the hottest dating event tickets on the market.

Boston Dating Events Never Disappoint

The first 6 events in Boston sold out completely, it showed we made the right move. Even the two events that didn’t sell out was big crowds. It marked the first time the company had successfully opened in a new city on the East coast. And thanks to Boston, we’re hoping to expand more out east, operate in more cities and reach a large audience.

Same Quality With Boston Charm

One of the greatest things that I loved about Boston is the hospitality. Boston has always been amazing. Our Boston dating group has already grew to over 1,000 members. You can find our Boston singles group at Meetup under the alias Boston Sophisticated Singles.

Local Quality Boston Singles

From the first event Scenergy Dating threw, support from local Boston men and women was great. In dating, you have to be open. And over the course of 2015, event after event brought more Boston singles out. And that’s what we want. We host singles events to give you the opportunity to meet local singles. Not just in Boston, but everywhere.

Boston Matchmaking

For those of you that have not seen success at one of our Boston singles events, Scenergy Dating also provides matchmaking services in Boston.  Learn more about our matchmaking. You can contact us by calling 1-877-41-CUPID or emailing chris@scenergy-dating.com

Don’t forget to follow us on Facebook!

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Dating in 20 Years: The Lasting Impact of Mobile Technology

Dating in 20 Years: The Lasting Impact of Mobile Technology

Anyone who’s ever played the dating game can tell you that finding the right partner will never be as simple as “Swipe Left to pass, Swipe Right to ‘like,” but the unprecedented success of the Tinder app has shown that for some people, it can be close enough. The app simplified dating in a way no other dating service ever had before: you’re given a list of users close to you – a virtual catalog, if you will – and you can try to sift through the list to find someone you’d want to date or hook up with, and hope that they feel the same way about you.

What used to be week-long waits of waiting for an online dating service to find matches for you and then communicating via messages on the website turned into a process that could potentially take all of three minutes. Of course, whether this is a good or a bad thing is still up for debate. It’s made the process that much faster and more convenient, but is that always a good thing – especially when it comes to trying to find a partner? Or are we just promoting an unhealthy relationship with our phones again?

When smartphones started becoming mainstream, surveys revealed that we had begun spending more time with our phones than with our partners, with the average smartphone user spending upwards of two hours a day just starting at their phone’s screen, and only spending 97 minutes a day with their significant other. That was two years ago, and everyone knows that the mobile industry has continued to evolve since then. We wouldn’t be surprised if we spend even more time on our phones now that they’ve virtually become the all-in-one tool for modern living.

Earlier this year, Chris Feliciano wrote about how 20 years have changed dating, discussing how our obsession with technology has made it difficult for us to connect, or meet new people in the ways we did before the internet became mainstream. Social media and mobile apps have changed the way we communicate and ask each other out, and it’s leaving a lasting impression on the dating industry.

With smartphones still being improved, there’s little doubt that they’ll stay relevant in our daily lives, and in a few years’ time, we might be completely dependent on them. How could the dating scene evolve with our smartphones? For one thing, communication pre-date and post-date will definitely continue to change. Surveys have revealed that as early as 2013, the pre-date and post-date texts had been important parts of the dating process, and many relied on this communication to see if the relationship would have a future at all.

Flirting via text messages and sexting may see a bigger role in the future as well. Earlier this year, surveys by Adam and Eve revealed that sexting is quickly becoming an important part of the dating process itself, with nearly 95% of the Americans who admit to sexting (sending sexually explicit photographs or messages via cell phone) saying they send sexual thoughts or ideas, 38% saying they send sexy selfies and 36% send explicit images, and nearly 20% saying they show their faces in their sexts. Sexting may very well turn out to be another necessary layer of post-date communication, and with the rise of apps like Tinder, sexts might be on the menu for pre-date texts as well.

And let’s admit it: mobile phones don’t just make us lazy, they make us more critical of others too. While sitting at a table on your first date, you’re likely to judge your potential partner based not just on their phone habits, but on their phones as well, and nobody could really blame you. These days, the way you handle your phone can speak a lot towards your personality, and some studies even claim a relationship between the kind of phone you have and the kind of partner you are. According to the Huffington Post, “Apparently, the device you carry speaks loudly (even when your ringer is on silent). An iPhone or Android isn’t just a tech choice, it can give dates insight into your personality and behaviors, too. The study found that Android users are the more polite eDaters–they’re more likely to pick up a date at home, pay for the first date, eat at a nice restaurant and send a post-date text.”

As we continue to rely on our mobile phones in our day-to-day lives, so too do we continue to rely on them for our dating lives, and within the next 20 years, we may see our phones becoming indispensable to the dating scene.

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dating

Sport Daters: Enjoy Dating But Not Relationship Ready

Sport Daters:  Enjoy Dating But Not Relationship Ready

by: Chris Feliciano

Published: May 14, 2015

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In dating there are two types of singles. Some have purposely prepared themselves for someone by attending cooking classes, getting themselves into shape, traveling the world, and reading the latest top selling book. For some it’s a natural process of self-development and dating is more focused on eventually sharing their life with a special someone. It’s similar to someone being ready for the interview and the job, but not ready to build a career within the company. We now live in a society that’s addicted to three words: instant, convenience, and choices. Whether it’s browsing for your favorite show on your favorite streaming service or at home workout DVD, we want things easy. Unfortunately it is no different when it comes to dating. Some appear as the perfect candidate for the most eligible Bachelor of Bachelorette, but are missing the extra “it” factor that takes them into commitment and/or marriage. Commitment takes a certain grit and reality that may seem uncomfortable to some.

 

The exciting times of meeting your new date at a gala or charity event have now been replaced by nights of serving Pepto Bismol to your better half. The flirtatious eyes and sarcastic comments of the first date are now replaced with a laundry list via text messages. Nights of picking out your newest outfit will become nights of yanking on your favorite sweats and picking out a Red Box DVD.  This is the reality of dating that becomes a relationship and for some this is a precious thought, while for some it feels like a prison term.  It is mainly men that get a bad rap for thinking of dating as a sport, but women are just as guilty. The sport daters will disguise their intentions but are only equipped for the sprint and not the marathon. For these singles playing the game, it seems like it’s never game over.

 

The best way to tell if someone is indeed a sport dater or looking for something a bit more committed is their energy during the first 1-3 dates. Most are consistently flirty, charming, or full of creativity when they are first meeting someone but beware past the third date (approximately). If there is still a consistency of consideration and invested feelings, then they truly do care to see progress between BOTH of you and not just their own selfish needs. Keep in mind that the rush of dopamine is supposed to lower as both start to get use to each other and acknowledge that things are moving into more exclusive territory.  It is completely fine if 4 hour conversations start turning into 15 minutes, again as long as there’s still mutual interest. If after a few dates it seems that the energy levels are extremely down and the flirtation has almost all but disappeared, it could be a warning sign. It could mean that this “show” can only be maintained for a certain amount of time and then the real person shows their face. When the show is over the real person is revealed as nothing more than an artificial person who is afraid to open up and fully express who they are.

 

The chase of attraction and validation wears off when things become too “complex”, but it is in these complexities that we grow as people. We don’t just grow as individuals but also as a united team that has earned the trust and comfort of each other. It is that comfort that should never be confused for boredom; relationships can and should still be dating. They can return to the eye contact during dinner that made them fall for each other or pretend they are “hooking up” when in reality they live with each other.  Creativity, inspiration, and passion should never be forgotten during a relationship – take full advantage of trust you both have.

 

For those that are sport daters but duds at relationships, take a step back and listen to yourself in silence. Is the excuse of being picky really a sign that you fear success in a relationship? Do you fear time might be lost so why invest the energy and emotions? Maybe you are just addicted to the same options that run rampant in this society and apply it to your dating life. Both sides should stay aware of each other and themselves. You can easily trick yourself into seeking a relationship and become your own worst enemy, or better yet a sport dater can one day find love. Regardless of your approach when it comes to dating remember to stay positively genuine and most will take care of itself.

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Dating in 1995 vs 2015: How 20 Years Have Changed the Game

Dating 2015 vs Dating 1995

by:  Chris Feliciano

Published:  February 9, 2015

Just give me 30 minutes honey, just need to load their page.

Just give me 30 minutes honey, just need to load their page.

 

Let’s take a trip down memory lane with this hilarious yet ironically true account of dating 20 years ago versus now. Maybe in your fantasies of neon fanny packs and Alanis Morissette songs you can find commonality with these stories. If you’re too young to remember 1995, then enjoy a yesteryear of improved social interactions in the dating game.

 

1995

John, 26 year old engineer, would go into a local Irish bar where he would lock eyes with a gorgeous yet shy redhead. The discussion that becomes an excuse for a first date is centered around the local Smashing Pumpkins cover band playing on stage. They eventually start a relationship and enjoy their weekly “marathon” of watching Friends.

 

2015

John, 26 year old engineer, takes a moment to post on Facebook that he is about to enter an Irish Bar. While tagging his friends, he misses out on the gorgeous redhead who’s too busy on her phone researching live bands. They both go home alone without ever knowing they live in the same apartment complex, all while binging on old episodes of Friends on Netflix.

 

Quasi urban hipsters before the word existed.

Quasi urban hipsters before the word existed.

1995

Lisa, 40 year old financial advisor, enters a happening coffee shop called Starbucks to pick up a new popular drink called a Frapuccino. She sees a polished gentleman reading a newspaper and greets him by making a comment based on the article facing her. The gentleman lowers the newspaper to reveal a wickedly charming smile and introduces himself. They later go on to become regulars at a nearby Starbucks where they discuss random things like the potential of a new actress named Angelina Jolie and Windows 95.

 

2015

Lisa, 40 year old wealth manager, enters a Starbucks and without hesitation goes over her detailed order with the barista. She quickly sits down and starts checking her work emails, text messages, Facebook notifications, and tweets. A good looking gentleman is reading a book off his tablet and continuously switches his attention between his tablet and trying to catch Lisa’s attention. After several attempts, he continues reading his book as Lisa storms off with her medium hot, light on whip cream, and custom espresso shot drink – never having a chance to have met her secret admirer.

 

1995

A group of gentlemen pass by a class of ladies during a Tae Bo class at the local gym, the most socially awkward of the group catches the attention of the female instructor. He comments, “Wow she’s like a hot Xena Warrior Princess”, and patiently waits for the class to end. The fitness instructor turns the corner and is immediately intercepted by the lanky yet confident gentleman who asks for her AOL screen name. She obliges and goes on to let him know which chat rooms she frequents. He smiles, licks his braces, and givers her an overly enthusiastic hand shake before jogging away to catch up with friends.

 

2015

A group of gentlemen pass by a class of ladies during a Zumba class at their local Crossfit hybrid studio. The geek of the group catches the attention of the instructor as he comments, “Wow she’s like Shakira with neon tassels.” The gentleman awkwardly stands inside the Zumba class until it is complete. He approaches the instructor and asks his smartphone, “How do I ask out a Zumba instructor” and his smartphone replies “I don’t understand your question.” The Latina instructor nods her head in laughter and introduces herself. He swings his hand around to shake hers and they walk each other out of the studio. Two weeks after that fateful night they are regularly seen walking the boardwalk together, one hand holding hers while the other is translating Spanish on his mobile Rosetta Stone.

"Hey you check out that Brad Pitt guy in that one vamp movie...kinda cute!"

“Hey you check out that Brad Pitt guy in that one vamp movie…kinda cute!”

Accurate, unfair, or bias?  Let us know what you think below and if not then tell us your favorite memory of 1995.

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“Naked Guy Pic” – 5 Observations & Random Thoughts

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Yes you might think, “Wow that is a tasteless photo” well it definitely is – and it’s very real. The photo included in this blog inspired the writings below, after it was reported by one of our own clients in Boston. For some reason, this photo became the “gentlemen’s” profile photo on a meetup.com group. I can just imagine his mindset as he stood in front of that mirror one fateful evening and proceeded to take a few photos until he decided which one was the weiner out of all of them. Then he uploads the photo on to his computer and starts to mess with some default blue Powerpoint shapes to expertly cover up his face and “Mr. Russel the Oned Eyed Muscle”.

Have us men lost our complete sanity? What has convinced us that a quality woman will magically swoon and feel chemistry based on a picture like this?

5 Observations & Random Thoughts:

1. Men are naturally the hunters which makes them much more assertive and forthright with their sexual desires. Women on the other hand desire a more emotional and invested approach, so it takes time and self-discipline.

2. A woman needs to feel that there is some sort of exclusivity or at least the feeling of before expressing themselves in a sexual manner. Though it’s never proven, it is more likely that a woman that’s much more polished compared to her counterparts will take longer to express her sexual side. The sad assumption is men assume she will be a bore when things become finally become intimate. They don’t wait around and get back to their naked selfie ways.

3. There was at least one woman that accepted and encouraged him to send that photo, he now has accepted that as the law of the land in his “dating paradigm” (I’ll discuss dating paradigm in a members only video). He may not have the patience or energy to earn a good woman by his side, thus that type of photo becomes his profile.

4. Honestly should not always be rewarded. He may think to himself, “Well at least I’m letting women know what my intentions are” is not always a justification. Men should call other men out in the name of brotherhood and women should call these type of men out just for their own self-improvement. Us humans have a way of allowing ego and distorted reality to convince us we are doing the right thing when it comes to dating – that’s where a DateDoc comes in ; )

5. A bit related to #1 and #2 but it’s hard to believe someone can bounce back and talk about metaphysics, life goals, and their interpretation of zodiac sign compatibility when they lead with a “won’t break the internet” photo. Adding a bit of caliber and respect to your repertoire will make you a more valued man.

So what are your thoughts, do women secretly enjoy these type of photos or could do without being bombarded by R rated from the get go? Men, are you guilty of sending a naked photo a bit quicker than you should have?

Heck who knows, I guess if animals could text they would send photos of them wearing clothes during mating season.

 

dogfselfie

…now my eyes don’t feel as cursed anymore!

 

Until next time,

Chris “DateDoc” Feliciano

www.scenergy-dating.com