Weak Men & Indecisive Women- The Demise of Modern Dating
written by: Jacklin K/Scenergy Dating Blog Contributor
One word sums up modern dating…PATHETIC. Men have become weak and lazy yet women have become increasingly indecisive on what they want or expect from dating. Women have made men so comfortable that they think they can get away with almost anything, this I believe has led to the demise of modern dating.
Women no longer know what they want, some of you might think I’m crazy but hey it’s true – just stay with me here. A woman will tell you the qualities she wants in a man and swears that she will only end up with one who meets her standards. But, when you look at the guy she ends up with, he doesn’t even have any of the qualities she wanted in a man in the first place. In fact, most women don’t have clear standards. They are optimistic that every guy they meet has an outstanding quality yet pessimistic when they are missing just one off their mental checklist.
When you ask a woman what she wants in a guy, her answer will vary depending on her age group. A woman in her early twenties will most likely say she wants a guy with tons of money, dashing looks, and treats her nice. In essence, she is telling you the qualities she feels will give her the best experience. But as she grows older, she starts to realize that some of the qualities she thought were important in her early twenties hold little or no significance.
Something you often hear is how a woman might think she wants a man who is taller than her because height equates to masculinity and protection. But one woman’s experience of dating a shorter than standard gentleman can change her mentality. She goes out on a first date with a guy who is shorter than her by let’s say an inch or two. When he kissed her, he held her confidently, kissed her deeply and left her feeling wanted. She had never had that experience before with taller guys she’s dated in the past. Suddenly she realizes that she no longer needed to equate height with masculinity; she needed a man who made her feel feminine and sexy. This is not only a great experience, but also the seeds that add confusion for the woman hell-bent on a taller guy.
Men have also forgotten the courage it takes to approach women because women have either taken up that role or are no longer approachable. While pickup lines seemed frowned upon years ago, nowadays it would be nice to have some creativity mixed with confidence. The new generation of average men are using lazy lines such as “hmu” (hit me up) or “dtf?” (down to f’). If the dating scene would have invented “Blockbuster & Chill” twenty years ago it would of least included popcorn, Twizzlers, and the thrill of knowing you grabbed the last VHS cassette. Meanwhile since it seems some women nowadays are not sure what they want in the dating and relationship world, it may cause men to no longer see the value in the pickup.
Speaking of conversation, making phone calls has become a dying art. Nowadays communication will happen through text, which is the most detached impersonal form of communication. We are actually in an era where your phone ringing becomes a stress inducing exercise where you wait for the voicemail and either get to it or don’t get to it later. If we leap into our time machine again we remember an era void of GPS, voicemail, caller ID, and text message where phones were answered more.
Women assume everyone who approaches them is a creep but this depends on how attractive they are – unfortunately (or fortunately) a man’s actions will be considered romantic in direct parallel to their looks. But looks aside happy hour now consists of an army of women with their phones at eye level uncontrollably texting, all the while men are sitting back gauging who even seems approachable. Even if a guy approaches a lady with the best of intentions, he would feel like he is literally competing and interrupting her Twitter, Facebook, text messaging, and Instagram page for hot firemen. Is this a sign that men lack courage nowadays or single women have no idea what their intention is at happy hour anymore?
Also women don’t want to be labeled as sluts but are yet fearful of commitment. They will remain in a label free relationship, which blurs lines and only works until it doesn’t. “We are just talking” is a phrase women have gotten used to which technically is a method men use to keep the door open for cheating. This way it wouldn’t really be cheating if he sleeps around because you weren’t really together. The idea of putting a label on a relationship seems like a stress builder, maybe this new era is evolving into a grey area due to our love with options.
Nowadays, it’s okay for a guy to not make plans in advance. They have options and up-to-the-minute update of their friends’ whereabouts and spending time with their women is not a priority; they only become a priority when there is no one to hang out with. Women have made this okay and even expecting that they will be stood up or causing the last minute cancellation themselves.
Men have been feeling like they are nothing but clowns to the modern woman, the independent woman has made it clear that she doesn’t need a man to survive. Ask a woman today if she needs a man and she will tell you “I don’t know” or the ever famous, “I’ve never needed a man.” Very few will answer with conviction that they need a man in their life. Singles argue that in this so called modern era we’ve been brainwashed into believing that the key to happiness is self-empowerment by becoming a corporate wage slave and sleeping around when convenient.
It has become increasingly difficult to dispute the notion that a woman who believes she doesn’t need a man won’t make a good girlfriend or wife as the one who is purposeful when it comes to looking for one. She will only treat you as a distraction to her more important career and friends’ night out. The only hope men have is to have sex with her as many times as possible until her attraction fizzles out and she moves on to the next guy. This is why men only want to hook up so if a woman is seeking more than sex, he won’t tell her he is the wrong person for her. At least, not until after they have a quick romp in between the sheets. Honesty isn’t mandatory anyway and often not celebrated in these current times.
Men also feel like they shouldn’t be spending money on dates. Women strive for equality so why not strive for it in the dating world too? Why should there be a double standard when it comes to dating? Most of them also don’t make classic romantic gestures like sending flowers or cards as everything is communicated in the digital space now. The most romantic expression some guys make nowadays is making their women “Facebook Official”, random thought but did Myspace have that option in its heyday? But we all know how easy it is to delete a picture or crop someone out when things go south – evidence of a break up for your social media world to witness.
Do you think women are to blame for the demise of modern dating? Are they enabling men’s bad behavior and lack of effort when it comes to dating? Or do men really need to step up, stop complaining and start courting women again like traditional men did?