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Weak Men & Indecisive Women- The Demise of Modern Dating

demise

 

Weak Men & Indecisive Women- The Demise of Modern Dating

written by: Jacklin K/Scenergy Dating Blog Contributor

One word sums up modern dating…PATHETIC. Men have become weak and lazy yet women have become increasingly indecisive on what they want or expect from dating. Women have made men so comfortable that they think they can get away with almost anything, this I believe has led to the demise of modern dating.

Women no longer know what they want, some of you might think I’m crazy but hey it’s true – just stay with me here. A woman will tell you the qualities she wants in a man and swears that she will only end up with one who meets her standards. But, when you look at the guy she ends up with, he doesn’t even have any of the qualities she wanted in a man in the first place. In fact, most women don’t have clear standards. They are optimistic that every guy they meet has an outstanding quality yet pessimistic when they are missing just one off their mental checklist.

When you ask a woman what she wants in a guy, her answer will vary depending on her age group. A woman in her early twenties will most likely say she wants a guy with tons of money, dashing looks, and treats her nice. In essence, she is telling you the qualities she feels will give her the best experience. But as she grows older, she starts to realize that some of the qualities she thought were important in her early twenties hold little or no significance.

Something you often hear is how a woman might think she wants a man who is taller than her because height equates to masculinity and protection. But one woman’s experience of dating a shorter than standard gentleman can change her mentality. She goes out on a first date with a guy who is shorter than her by let’s say an inch or two. When he kissed her, he held her confidently, kissed her deeply and left her feeling wanted. She had never had that experience before with taller guys she’s dated in the past. Suddenly she realizes that she no longer needed to equate height with masculinity; she needed a man who made her feel feminine and sexy.  This is not only a great experience, but also the seeds that add confusion for the woman hell-bent on a taller guy.

Men have also forgotten the courage it takes to approach women because women have either taken up that role or are no longer approachable. While pickup lines seemed frowned upon years ago, nowadays it would be nice to have some creativity mixed with confidence.  The new generation of average men are using lazy lines such as “hmu” (hit me up) or “dtf?” (down to f’).  If the dating scene would have invented “Blockbuster & Chill” twenty years ago it would of least included popcorn, Twizzlers, and the thrill of knowing you grabbed the last VHS cassette.  Meanwhile since it seems some women nowadays are not sure what they want in the dating and relationship world, it may cause men to no longer see the value in the pickup.

Speaking of conversation, making phone calls has become a dying art. Nowadays communication will happen through text, which is the most detached impersonal form of communication. We are actually in an era where your phone ringing becomes a stress inducing exercise where you wait for the voicemail and either get to it or don’t get to it later.  If we leap into our time machine again we remember an era void of GPS, voicemail, caller ID, and text message where phones were answered more.

Women assume everyone who approaches them is a creep but this depends on how attractive they are – unfortunately (or fortunately) a man’s actions will be considered romantic in direct parallel to their looks. But looks aside happy hour now consists of an army of women with their phones at eye level uncontrollably texting, all the while men are sitting back gauging who even seems approachable. Even if a guy approaches a lady with the best of intentions, he would feel like he is literally competing and interrupting her Twitter, Facebook, text messaging, and Instagram page for hot firemen.  Is this a sign that men lack courage nowadays or single women have no idea what their intention is at happy hour anymore?

Also women don’t want to be labeled as sluts but are yet fearful of commitment. They will remain in a label free relationship, which blurs lines and only works until it doesn’t. “We are just talking” is a phrase women have gotten used to which technically is a method men use to keep the door open for cheating. This way it wouldn’t really be cheating if he sleeps around because you weren’t really together. The idea of putting a label on a relationship seems like a stress builder, maybe this new era is evolving into a grey area due to our love with options.

Nowadays, it’s okay for a guy to not make plans in advance. They have options and up-to-the-minute update of their friends’ whereabouts and spending time with their women is not a priority; they only become a priority when there is no one to hang out with. Women have made this okay and even expecting that they will be stood up or causing the last minute cancellation themselves.

Men have been feeling like they are nothing but clowns to the modern woman, the independent woman has made it clear that she doesn’t need a man to survive. Ask a woman today if she needs a man and she will tell you “I don’t know” or the ever famous, “I’ve never needed a man.”  Very few will answer with conviction that they need a man in their life.  Singles argue that in this so called modern era we’ve been brainwashed into believing that the key to happiness is self-empowerment by becoming a corporate wage slave and sleeping around when convenient.

 

It has become increasingly difficult to dispute the notion that a woman who believes she doesn’t need a man won’t make a good girlfriend or wife as the one who is purposeful when it comes to looking for one. She will only treat you as a distraction to her more important career and friends’ night out. The only hope men have is to have sex with her as many times as possible until her attraction fizzles out and she moves on to the next guy. This is why men only want to hook up so if a woman is seeking more than sex, he won’t tell her he is the wrong person for her. At least, not until after they have a quick romp in between the sheets. Honesty isn’t mandatory anyway and often not celebrated in these current times.

Men also feel like they shouldn’t be spending money on dates. Women strive for equality so why not strive for it in the dating world too? Why should there be a double standard when it comes to dating? Most of them also don’t make classic romantic gestures like sending flowers or cards as everything is communicated in the digital space now. The most romantic expression some guys make nowadays is making their women “Facebook Official”, random thought but did Myspace have that option in its heyday? But we all know how easy it is to delete a picture or crop someone out when things go south – evidence of a break up for your social media world to witness.

Do you think women are to blame for the demise of modern dating? Are they enabling men’s bad behavior and lack of effort when it comes to dating? Or do men really need to step up, stop complaining and start courting women again like traditional men did?

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5 thoughts on “Weak Men & Indecisive Women- The Demise of Modern Dating

  1. Ward

    Great article. I’m an older middle-aged single guy. More athletic, then not, better looking, then most my age, responsible and looking for love in all the places I’m willing to look. Introspective, adventurous and so, so tired of the game. Yet I love people, some kid’s and most pets. Alone or with great company I love my life. It is a journey an adventure. Young women seem shallow, as you stated, addicted to their phones, etc. 30’s and so, appear to be in a rush. while 40’s -55ish are bitter and angry blaming others for their misery. Over 60’s tired, old and worn out where sex and staying in shape is in the past.I know, there are exceptions, few and far between. Ladies when men are in lust we will promise the world, scale the mountains and swim the seas to climb in bed with you. We want that big chemical release, just as you do. The less we have to do to get off, the better for us.
    When you make it so easy to bonk you we will and probably leave you hanging. And little idiot will call it love. When I give you a dollar for nothing you’ll spend with abandonment. However, when you sweat for that all mighty dollar you’ll respect it and spend it wisely. Why buy the cow when the milk is free. Perhaps if you were a little more difficult to bed down, we would add more value to you.
    Years ago a very wise and hot female mentor, when I asked how she always had such fabulous dates, including the best restaurants, shows, presents and trips replied, “Men ask me out because they want in my pants, I accept because I may, want that too. And, first, I want to know them better, to understand then more and they me. This may take some time, two, three, four dates. We will go to the best he can provide. We will laugh have fun and share stories. If he stays the course he will show his yearning for my body, mind and emotions. When it works out it is beautiful, when it does not I move to a new teacher. In this way I learn about myself, about that individual and more about what I want. As a man I wish more women were like this. Aware, confident and full of life. Hint: When you are young, be pretty, in good shape, develop your mind, know your likes and dislikes. Learn the art of saying “No”. Have adventures and know why you like a guy or why you don’t. It’s really ok to like yourself a lot. When middling get the looks and shape going. This makes you attractive. Forget the old stories on how your, suppose to be and be yourself. You are so totally responsible for what you think, feel and do about your life. You are not responsible for anyone else’s want or behaviors. Take charge of your own life and sleep with whom you like and fall in love, after, not before they display their love for you. God Bless You, your wonderful.

    Reply
  2. Paul

    THAN, than not then. For a start. Brother, you’re barely literate. No excuse at your age, the schools were still actually teaching English in our day. And buy a ¶ while you’re at it.

    Reply
    1. adminadmin Post author

      We’ve fixed the grammatical issue, thank you for pointing out. I’m sure you’d make a great proofreader, but is concerning that even though we don’t personally know you Paul yet you take time to be overly condescending and disrespectful. We expect an equally disrespectful and offensive response but do hope you can take a step back and realize how your attitude comes off.

      Reply
      1. Lex Barringer

        I don’t see what’s, “overly condescending and disrespectful” about his statement. What he’s talking about is happening all over the printed and online media. People are misspelling words, using the wrong tense and many other grammar errors are observed. Many people don’t take the time to proof-read their own work before they post it to the Internet.

        While the statement, “Brother, you’re barely literate.” has an arrogant ring , it shouldn’t bother you. The tone of your response was that of getting it fixed but at the same time being, “overly-defensive” and telling him you didn’t like his response.

        Do you honestly think he would respond to you after you’ve answered it that way?

        You have to realize your actual response looks like you’re attempting to troll / bait him. While you may say his comments as trolling you and your site, he’s actually not. He’s just really sick and tired of people not taking due diligence, the English language, let alone grammar and punctuation seriously. What he did fail to realize is that there are people that have piss poor skills in grammar and have technology spot and fix their problems for them (or so they hope it will). There are people that are dyslexic as well; disability in language; yes, that also includes grammar.

        You should be careful as to how to answer people, even if it is your own blog and website. The reason why I say this is; word travels very fast on the Internet as to whom is abrasive and whom is easy going.

        If you find my explanation offensive; you’ve got bigger problems than you realize. Even if someone is mean to you on your website, trying to rebuff a perceived arrogant attitude will in and of itself, be perceived as arrogance on your part. Two wrongs doesn’t make it right, take the moral high ground; fix the problem(s), be professional and move on.

        Remember this; If you take offense over something or are trying to defend yourself over an insult, it will make you look more guilty or at the very least, easily flustered and controlled.

        How do I know?

        Well, it is human nature / psychology; I speak from personal and professional experience from over twenty years ago, when I was in my early twenties. Someone clued me in as to the attitude and response I gave a reader of one of my websites wasn’t the correct the one. I’m just paying it forward! Hint: I had a very similar experience to this, my response was also like yours.

        Reply

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